bada bing bada bombay

By the time the plane touched down in Bombay last night I'd already been called "sir" THREE TIMES. Once by the gate agent at JFK and twice by a flight attendant. Awesome.

Many things about India make me crazy, as you probably have gathered. One of those things is people's inability to behave like civilized human beings at the airport. At the baggage claim I actually had occasion to say to someone, out loud, "Are you fuckin' KIDDING me? Jesus Christ!" Which I guess doesn't speak much for my own ability to act civilized, but I'd just had an 80-pound suitcase heaved into my legs with no room to recapture my balance. Here's a tip for my fellow travelers: if y'all would leave your damned luggage carts off to the side instead of lining them up directly against the baggage conveyor belt, we'd all have room to actually pick up our bags and go the hell home without injury or use of the word 'fuck.'

Fernando is here, so that's nice, but he will be gone after tomorrow night. So we only get 48 hours of pretending to hate each other.